As most of you know, because who WOULDN’T know, last night began the football season. This means I get to sit on my butt and stare at my nice TV as well-trained professional athletes, throw, run, pass… and pray.

I am REALLY tired of football players praying. Yes, they can do what they want, but there is a time and a place for everything. Do you need to publicly and obviously thank God for your touchdown? Your field goal? Your punt return?

Sure, it is low-class. Sure it demonstrates that you are not able to keep your head in reality in the middle of a game. Sure, it breaks Matthew 6:5:

“And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be like the hypocites are: For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets (and on camera while everyone is watching), that they may be SEEN of men. Verily I say to you, they have their reward. But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet and pray when thou hast shut the door, pray to thy father in secret”

But ignore all that. What bothers me most is the hubris and conceit. Do you really think the all-powerful ruler of the Universe cares if the Washington Redskins beat the Giants? You really think GOD cares if you, Mr. Punt-Return-Guy, catch the ball? Do you blame him if you drop it? Do you think God has a favorite team?

The whole notion is so absurd. Really, it’s just plain dumb. Football is a sport, and no gods care who wins.

Here’s an interesting subject for discussion: Although I wouldn’t call it a charity, it certainly poses an interesting “buddy system” type of support for new (small n) atheists.

“Give-a-Clue” is the first charity dedicated to providing New Atheists with what they need most desperately: a rudimentary education.

For a few dollars a day, “Give-a-Clue” can help a New Atheist of your choice get a clue. You can sponsor a New Atheist to begin a lifetime of education. You can choose to send your Atheist to a public university (just pennies/day) or to an Ivy League university (a hundred bucks/day), and you get to pick the course of study! Imagine your New Atheist sitting in a class in freshmen logic, or introductory theology, or rudimentary history, or elementary philosophy of science. Imagine his eyes opening in astonishment at the world of reason and logical discourse. He’ll learn to read critically, to question his own ideas as well as those of others, and to communicate with words instead of expletives.

Your New Atheist will write you each month; you can enjoy the satisfaction of reading for yourself how your immature beneficiary will grow and mature. You’ll watch — first-hand! — as your New Atheist gains perspective and grows intellectually. Oh, at first, the letters may be difficult to read. Spittle, casual obscenities, and desecrated communion Hosts may be all you’ll get. But have faith. As your New Atheist learns, he/she (you can choose a boy or a girl!) will mature into someone who can analyze evidence, adhere to logic, and formulate arguments. Watch with joy as they cast off New Atheism and embrace the examined life.

A mind, even if it’s just a couple of pounds of meat, is a terrible thing to waste. So please join me and a host of caring people to help rescue our hapless New Atheist neighbors from a life of witless dogma. Find it in your heart to spare a few dollars.

Give to “Give-a-Clue.” Give until it hurts, because if New Atheism prevails, it’ll hurt a lot more.

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OK this writer is obviously not on our side, but let’s look at his idea for a minute. An atheist buddy system. I have actually done this a few times, and it works well. Perhaps we can use this snarky article to our advantage.

Like most of you, I remember where I was when the towers fell. I remember the smoke in the clear sky, the people crying in the halls of Bell Labs (where I worked at the time), and I remember, just as clearly, the news reports of Muslims in Englewood NJ dancing and celebrating the event.

It’s been eight years, and I am still angry. I know most American Muslims aren’t terrorists or supporters of terrorists, but I also know that some of them ARE. I know that Islam is in a stage of reform, but I also know they have very far to go.

I know that simply stating Muhammad raped a child (which he did) puts my life in danger, and that in the supposedly “friendly” Islamic countries, people are executed by the state for blasphemy, a victimless crime which I commit every day. I know these same countries are using the UN to make blasphemy laws illegal in all member states, including the USA. I know there are people today who are dead, because of a cartoon.

My wife says I am “anti-Muslim”,and I guess she is right. Sure, I am anti-all-religions, but I find Islam particularly barbaric, and I think I have good reason for this mindset.

On 9/11/01, we all said we’d never forget. I still haven’t.

The actions of a Kentucky high school football coach have been questioned after he took nearly two dozen players on a field trip to an evangelist church service where nearly half the kids were baptized.

Breckinridge County High School Coach Scott Mooney last month used a public school bus to transport the kids approximately 35 miles but arranged for a volunteer driver and promised to pay for the gas himself, according to Superintendent Janet Meeks, who attended the service and witnessed the baptisms of her public school students.

“It was completely voluntary,” Meeks told ABCNews.com, noting that of the team’s 46 players, about 20 elected to go on the trip. Of those attendees, nine were baptized.

“They didn’t get anything for attending,” she said. “They didn’t get anything for not attending.”

The mothers of one of the baptized boys has said publicly that she was upset to learn her son had been baptized without her consent on a trip sponsored by a public school employee.

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This is so blatantly illegal and unconstitutional it makes me ill. Zealot teachers baptizing kids is one thing (a completely illegal thing), but to do it without parental consent is outrageous.

WE ARE WILLING TO HELP. Any parent affected by this incident would email email Edwin Kagin, who is our KY State Director.

Of course, if you’re upside down, then Heaven is down and Hell is up. So stand on your heads and worship the beast above. And if your change falls out of your pockets, consider it a donation to all that is backwards and/or upside-down (religion).

Yea, as I stand on my head in the Valley of Death I shall fear no evil, because the blood rushing to my head makes me a bit giddy.