Eddie Tabash several years ago, said in a presentation that Atheists must support one another. It holds true as well here as it would for political office, which is what Eddie was talking about in that instance.

If it weren’t so bad for the organization, I could just become an amused onlooker to the spectacle, but because I would be accomplice by supporting a Board which continues in some sort of retribution against its former “leader”, I must cancel my membership in American Atheists, and never mention to outsiders that I was a member.

No one can win in this situation…because even a win for the Board of Directors would cast doubt on their choice of whom they hired. If Ellen wins, it would cast doubt on the choice the Board made to sue her.

Based on my experience of the courts in this country, even a win wouldn’t prove the correctness of the decision, but if the Board loses it could bring shame upon the entire organization in the court of public opinion. This can’t be good policy. Apparently, they have decided to sue on principle instead of on what the ultimate outcome may be, and to sue means one will abide by the decision of the court, be that as arbitrary as it may be.

I must sign off here for the last time. I have already resigned my membership, and don’t intend to renew it under the leadership of this Board of Directors. After 20 years hence, when most will be dead or will have resigned from that board, I will consider but not promise, to support this organization once again. …Bye

Bart’s apology was very sincere. He expressed regret for his actions and took responsibility for the harm caused. I would like to see such sincerity from the other board members. So you say:

However, I think it’s a bit of an overstatement to say this one incident (the Bill Moore March) caused the firing. There were a lot of problems here, and most of them still exist.

Three points: (1) You have said in the past that you are not in-the-loop and are acting only in your capacity as spokesperson. But your post is sounding in-the-loopy to me. (2) If the Moore walk is not the problem then what is? (3) If the Moore walk was the problem and it was Bart that precipitated this mess then when will Ellen be reinstated?

I agree with What that you do sound very much “in-the-loop”. If there are other problems that are still present with Ellen gone, and now Bart gone, maybe the whole board needs to be replaced. That would be quite a task, wouldn’t it? In any event, it’s looking more and more like we need Ellen back.

I also agree that Bart’s apology seems sincere and I think he has learned something about himself and his relationship with Ellen in this process. Perhaps the two of them could shake hands, be adults and agree to let bygones be and start fresh?

This is an opportunity to rework what needs to be fixed. Rewrite by-laws if need be. Fix term limits. Set up rules/standards of communication. I don’t know what all needs to be done because you refuse to let us in on what the problems are. I don’t understand why it needs to be such a big secret. Are there ways some of us out here in blogland can help, or does one have to be in the NJ proximity to be of service?

So far as the walk is concerned, while I want to see it as best intentions and all that, I never liked the “riding the coat-tails of the segregation” feel of the thing. Sure, Bill Moore had an atheist slant as well, but it doesn’t feel anything but overshadowed by that.

Like I said, I’m not on the board, and I am just applying logic here — I don’t think the board fired Ellen because of one incident. That’s all.

BUT, per request of Bart, here is his entire resignation letter, unedited.

To all board members, directors, staff, and others,

I have already announced my resignation as the director of state and regional operations, effective July 1st, 2008.

This is my formal resignation from the board of directors of American Atheists, Inc. and United Secularists of America. I can no longer serve on the boards because of the events that have transpired leading to the departure of Ellen Johnson.

Specifically, I was the instigator to Ellen?s departure and caused irreparable damage to the organization and pain and suffering to Ellen and her family. Because of my own self interests, I tried to stop Ellen from doing the Bill Moore walk. Yes, I was concerned for Ellen?s safety but initially I also refused to work with Ellen to try and make this walk as safe as I could. I just wanted Ellen not to do this walk and I refused to listen to her plea to help make this walk safe.

That?s what Ellen asked me to do when we first discussed this on the morning of March 6th, 2008. ?Help me make this walk safe? was Ellen?s exact request. I replied that there was no way to make a two week walk safe. Maybe there was no way to eliminate all the risks, but making it a little safer is exactly what I wound up doing anyway. So I should have just done that from the start. The Bill Moore walk WAS a noble cause for Atheism and American Atheists, albeit a dangerous one. However, it did not turn out to be as dangerous as I thought it would.

The other (not so minor) issue is that I tried to ?Control? Ellen. I incorrectly assumed that I had that privilege because of our relationship, I was on the board, and this was a safety issue. I tried to force Ellen not to do something she had already made plans to do. I don?t know that I did this intentionally to control Ellen but I did it just the same. Intentional or not, it was wrong.

Some of us have control issues sometimes and I am one of them. Sometimes we need to let things go because the consequences are just not worth it.

Ellen said she would tell me of an event she was planning if I did not tell anyone about it. I agreed, and when she told me what it was, I didn?t honor my word in my effort to stop her. I informed the board about Ellen?s intention to do the walk On March 6th, in the afternoon. This event was to be a surprise at the 2008 convention. The members on the board that Ellen previously discussed this with last year seemed very positive about the Bill Moore walk at that time so there was no reason for Ellen to think that making this a surprise at the convention would be controversial. She thought most everyone would would think this was a great idea. And who on the board would have thought differently if I didn?t intervene?

I told Ellen?s sister about the Bill Moore walk on March 6th after I emailed the board earlier. I relayed all of the concerns I had for the walk to her and got her on board with trying to stop Ellen. My concerns were authentic, I did not just make those up. But I painted those concerns with a scary brush to Ellen?s sister. My concerns were about a worse case situation. I scared the shit out of Ellen?s sister and caused animosity between the two of them.

Then I caused Ellen more emotional stress by threatening to tell her children that she could be shot in Alabama if she went through with this walk. I had actually planned on informing her children of what Ellen was going to do to enlist their help to stop Ellen, but even then it was still a threat to Ellen. I wound up not emailing the kids because Ellen said she would call off the walk that evening on March 6th, but I placed a huge emotional strain on Ellen that she may not have recovered from.

On April 9th, 2008 a special meeting of the board was held. During this meeting I drafted a motion to try and stop Ellen from doing the walk. While I won?t post the motion here in it?s entirety, it basically said the board directs Ellen to immediately stop any effort with the walk, and that she will be suspended and then dismissed from her position and from the board if she does the walk. There was some other verbage as well but that was the gist of it. It was my idea to use the board to stop Ellen from doing this walk. It was my motion that put the process in place to fire her if she did the walk. And it was my effort to have the meeting on April 9th in order to do all of that. Once I drafted the motion to fire Ellen, I asked another board member to introduce it so my name would not be in the minutes.

The motion did not pass. It did not even come to a vote. It was tabled and then sent to Ellen a few days later in an effort to stop her from doing the walk. She was told that another meeting would be held on April 16th to vote on the motion if she did not stop her efforts.

On the meeting of April 16th, 2008, I made the motion to bring the previous motion (to fire Ellen) off the table and kill it. That motion carried. I realized after the first meeting that I could not vote to fire Ellen and relayed this to the board. I never wanted Ellen to be fired, I just wanted her to call off the walk.

During the April 29th meeting, another board member introduced a motion to fire Ellen. The motion carried. The vote was 5 to 3 in favor of firing her. Although I voted to retain Ellen, that ball had already been rolling downhill for some time and I could not stop it.

I started that ball rolling. I could have worked with Ellen from the beginning, but I was too worried and upset myself about the walk and reacted without thinking about the consequences. Had I waited a few days I would have reacted with more ration. Additionally, I was (and still am) upset about the issues between Arthur Brenner and myself. I stand by my post about Arthur on the nogod blog. I blame Ellen for not resolving those issues and (in my opinion) taking sides with Arthur against me. This also affected my judgment with the Bill Moore walk. It should not have, but it did.

As much as I am angry with Ellen about my conflicts with Arthur Brenner, I have no doubt that Ellen acted in what she thought was the best interest for the organization. I disagree with how Ellen handled the situation and just what is best for the organization regarding Arthur, but I have no doubt about her sincerity.

So from the beginning, it was my actions that led Ellen to be defensive about this walk and several other issues that grew into major disagreements between Ellen and other board members. Several members on this board jumped right into my plans to stop Ellen for their own reasons. Prior to my efforts, only Conrad and I thought it was a bad idea to do the walk. Now several people on the board were against Ellen doing this walk. There is no way that I can be removed from this equation since I started it. It was my fault and I accept full responsibility for my part.

There was some discontent among board members with some of Ellen?s policies prior to that but it was my actions that were directly responsible for placing everyone in a position that made it impossible to work things out. Had I acted rationally, the outcome would very likely have been much different. The differences that existed between Ellen and others on the board at the time could have been worked out amicably over time.

Now I know that several members on the board will say that Ellen acted on her own. Well she did but her decisions were influenced by my drastic actions and the following actions of the board (whose actions were also influenced by me). We already discussed the mistakes made by Ellen and the board. EVERYONE made mistakes. Especially me. Now it?s time to correct those mistakes. I?ll deal with my own mistakes. Hopefully, that will create a path for everyone else to deal with their own mistakes in turn.

First, I apologize to the board of directors, state and regional directors, volunteers, and the members of American Atheists for allowing my relationship with Ellen to affect my judgment and create a rift between Ellen and the board that could not be resolved. Had I not created that rift, the existing issues would have had a much better chance to be resolved amicably. My actions directly caused undue stress to the board, the members, Ellen Johnson, and her family.

I apologize to Ellen?s family for betraying their trust that I would take good care of their mother, sister, and daughter. Although I was concerned about Ellen?s safety, I failed to look out for her best interests and my actions resulted in causing this situation. I specifically apologize to Ellen?s sister for telling her the other night that ?I did nothing to her sister? when I clearly did everything. Ellen?s sister was right. Ellen?s sister (and son) have been an invaluable asset with their employment to American Atheists. American Atheists would be lucky to have them as employees should they choose to stay.

And most of all, I apologize to Ellen. I betrayed your trust in that I used our relationship and my position on the board to try and force you to stop something that you had every right to do. No matter how much I was concerned with safety (valid reasons or not), I should have accepted your initial offer to work with you to make this safe from the beginning. Instead, I tried to control you and stop you. That was the wrong thing to do. You deserve better than that.

There are three very basic parts to every apology. Somebody once said that.

I?m sorry.

It?s my fault.

How do I make this right?

I don?t know if I was able to complete the first two items and the third item is even more elusive.

I have tried to make this right by influencing the board and Ellen to start talking again. So far, I have not been successful. I can speculate on the reason for this, but speculation is all that it will be, so I won?t.

I can NOT remain on the board of directors of American Atheists because of the disservice I have created. If Ellen was to return, I can?t guarantee that I would not be influenced by my relationship with Ellen again. As much as I can come clean about my role in this situation it will not matter one iota if it happens again or even has the chance of happening again. I can NOT be in a position to rule over someone whom I care deeply about. It is a conflict of interest because It?s hard to make decisions objectively when it involves someone you love.

So this is about error management. In the aviation community, error management is about realizing the areas in which we make mistakes and taking steps to minimize them. We are all human and we will all continue to make mistakes. Error management is about minimizing the chances of making the same mistakes again. One should note that the chance of making mistakes (even repeated mistakes) can never be completely eliminated, only minimized. There are no guarantees in life and to say that there are would be a lie.

To that end, I resign from the board of directors of American Atheists, Inc. and United Secularists of America. Effective immediately. I can?t stay without Ellen, and I can?t stay if she comes back. I don?t know what else I can do to make this right and reinstate Ellen but if anyone can think of something I?m open to suggestions.

I hope that this action on my part will open a door so that everyone else who erred here can also rectify their mistakes. I?m not saying that anyone else needs to resign. I AM saying that everyone needs to consider their own actions and possibly realize that they also made mistakes. Be introspective and empathetic. Sometimes that requires considerable effort.

I think that the interests of American Atheists will be best served with Ellen as president. It?s the best way. And we all should be doing what?s best for AA. My last request as a board member is to respectfully request that everyone, including Ellen, work together to reinstate Ellen Johnson as the president of American Atheists. This is not an impossible task. It may not be easy but it CAN be done. Everyone just needs to work together. Nothing good is easy. It takes effort and sometimes a lot of effort. Sacrifices need to be made by everyone, but it CAN be done. Everyone can compromise and make this happen.

There is a fourth part of an apology, but it does not come from the person making the apology. It comes from those slighted and it is forgiveness. This should never be granted lightly. In my case it should not be granted at all. I don?t deserve it and will not accept it. I will never forgive myself. Those who would be in a position to offer forgiveness should just try to help fix this situation instead and ensure it doesn?t happen again.

I provided this to all of you to hopefully give some motivation to work out the differences and get Ellen back. I also hope some of you can learn from my mistakes and not repeat them or make them worse. If one is a pilot, it is most preferable that one learns from the mistakes of others rather than one?s own mistakes. None of you are pilots, but all of you can learn from my mistakes with this issue. Have I learned from my own mistakes? I don?t know and it doesn?t matter because I am removing myself from the equation so this won?t happen again. No one asked me to resign. This is my idea and decision. It is my way to hold myself accountable for my actions and possibly open some doors. If I can make further reparations I will.

Ellen is the hardest working, most dedicated person I have ever known. NO ONE will ever dedicate themselves to this cause like Ellen did. Loosing her as president of American Atheists is a significant loss for everyone. But not a loss that can?t be reversed.

Work together for the good of American Atheists. Put Ellen back where she belongs. Fix this situation.

Bart Meltzer.

The only way I will rejoin AA is if Ellen is reinstated as president.

Better than forgiveness is the restoration of one’s credibility in some measure, and that you’ve earned. Granted, I don’t know you Bart, so your story here dropped you down a fair number of pegs and then raised you up a couple. Funny thing is though, often it’s the upward struggle that matters most.

(While I always have to roll my eyes at the glowing praise ex-crack addicts get for staying sober next to the lack of attention people who never touched the stuff in the first place, it’s worth also noting on occasion that next having been challenged does not a champion make. Sort of like atheists who have never considered why they don’t believe, or that god/Jesus thing never really being in danger or capable of temptation.)

Anyhoo, good call. See a therapist — seriously.

This kind of apology is rare indeed. You set a good example to be followed not only by the AA board and AA members but for humanity at large. As a member of American Atheists I accept your apology and think your decision to leave the board a wise one.