And, of course, when Christians do stupid things, the best way to handle it is to blame Atheism.
MOSCOW (Nov. 15) – At least 30 members of a Russian doomsday cult have barricaded themselves in a remote cave to await the end of the world and are threatening to commit suicide if police intervene, officials and media said Thursday. Gennady Marchenko, Reuters Policemen stand guard on the hillside where 30 Russian cult members are hidden inside a snow-covered cave in the Penza region of central Russia Thursday. The members are said to be awaiting the end of the world. “They have covered the entrance and refuse to come out and are threatening to blow themselves up,” an official in the local prosecutor’s office told Reuters by telephone. “They threaten to detonate a gas tank and blow themselves up.”The cult members, who include 29 adults and four children, are hidden inside a snow-covered hillside in the Penza region of central Russia. A Penza police spokeswoman said they had moved into the dug-out on November 7.”No one wants to take on the responsibility of provoking them … because our information is that there are children among them,” said the official.They are thought to have taken food and fuel supplies in with them and Russian television pictures from the scene showed smoke or steam coming out of a hole in the snow-covered ravine where it was built.A police patrol was guarding the area to prevent anyone provoking them.”They are simple Christians,” a local priest, Father Georgy, told NTV television station. “They say: ‘The church is doing a bad job, the end of the world is coming soon and we are all saving ourselves’.”Media reports said the cult members believed the world would end sometime in May next year. Police expected them to emerge when their supplies ran out.After decades of state-enforced atheism under Soviet rule, many Russians and other ex-Soviet nationals have come under the influence of homegrown and foreign sects. (SEE? IT’S OUR FAULT)Many Russians have refused new passports and taxpayers’ personal identification numbers, saying the figures contained “satanic” combinations of numbers.Izvestia newspaper said the leader of the cult, Pyotr Kuznetsov, had been detained by police. It said he was a 43-year-old who had been diagnosed with schizophrenia and that in the last few months he had been sleeping in a coffin.Police took Kuznetsov to the cave to persuade his followers to come out but without success, said the newspaper.Reporting by Tatyana Ustinova; writing by Dmitry Solovyov; editing by Philippa Fletcher
Athiests SUCK,
While there are those that will appreciate your comment, I am not amused by your use of the word “all”. I will have you know that I LICK.
This has to be as convincing as any other argument for theism, and deserves extra points for being so concise.
Athiests SUCK,
That was so awesome, you know, like, the way you totally linked your handle with that totally awesome dis. That was so sweet…and awesome.
P.S. You misspelled “athiests”.
I agree with rna2dna that I resent being lumped into all because it does not denote my skill. I’ll have to disagree with rna2dna though as he/she has not learned the finer points yet. After all, you didn’t think the “tongue tornado” only involved “licking,” did you? So, in sum, my licking skill is far greater than my sucking skill as the latter is used minimally.
And, I have to agree with “Athiests suck” in that the best woman I ever dated in the bj department was an Atheist; the xians can’t even be compared!
Yes, the kids WILL die from vapor poisoning well before the adults if adequate ventilation isn’t there. And suicide is legal but infanticide is illegal.
I thought the world already ended about 1000 times. It’s just like the Iraq war in a way. We’ve already won that one about 14 times, but we keep fighting for some reason.
rna2dna
After reading the CNN article about FSM I went to the FSM website to rummage around a bit. Later in the day I tried to access the site again. No luck! Lots of traffic? Denial of service attack? Server down? Hmm … Maybe the FSM smote the site with its noodly appendage.
mushin and 666 have it right. The USSR was a federation: The Union of Soviet Soci_list Republics. 15 different national republics were recognized.
Central government policies varied from suppression of seminaries and executions in some areas to state support in others. It was a sort of realpolitik.
Alatham, you can get a summary at the always controversial Wikipedia under the heading “Religion in the Soviet Union”.
The FSM article has a couple of funny points. First it refers to FSM as a “pseudo-deity”. I wonder what they define a real deity to be.
Then there is this revealing quote,
“You have to keep a sense of humor when you’re studying religion, especially in graduate school,” Van Horn said in a recent telephone interview. “Otherwise you’ll sink into depression pretty quickly.”
So true. The last line in the article is also very funny. I’m going to use that one.
I’m an atheist and I can suck a watermelon through a garden hose.
bernarda
Oh what noodly appendages we weave when first we practice to believe.
Ramen
What,
No access to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster website here yesterday either. Its working fine today. It is very obvious that the christian’s god idea is wrong. Praise be only to the noodles.
the police will try to pump in sleeping gas.hopefully it will work and the children can be saved.
Um, isn’t one of the 8 I rather you didn’ts to “…do not build a church…”? LAWL!!! You have committed sin and He is visiting noodley vengeance upon you! May you rot in hell with stale beer and ugly strippers you vile heathens!!!
Blessed be He who wields the noodley appendange and drinks the finest beer! RAmen.
I grew up in one of the soviet ruled countries and nobody ever talked about god or going to church. Actually, guys could get out of 2 years in Russian Army if they said they were religious, I don’t know anyone who had done it!
This lunatic in a cave is just messing w/ peoples minds, I don’t think it has anything to do with the mindset of Russians or forced atheism of 50 yrs. I dont think it was forced.. at least in any of the countries russia occupied.